New relationship energy

Back to the newfound chemistry...the new girl and I both had very busy schedules that would distract us to no end, but we made time to meet for coffee amidst it all...we hit it off immediately!  It was great -- everything you'd hope for, really, in the way of desire, excitement, butterflies in the stomach and all that.

We were quickly on a high from each other, and no end of emailing, calling, and texting ensued, at all hours of the day and night.  It was fantastic!  There's nothing quite like the excitement you can find in another person who's just as interested in you as you are them...thriving on finding out as much as you can about who they are and what they're doing.

We didn't get to meet too often, but I'll likely get into that more later.

When we did get to see each other, it was wonderful -- I couldn't get enough of how she looked, how she moved, the sound of her voice, and the twinkle in her eyes.  Her passion for her interests and life were infectious -- a great thing, with all of the interests we share.

Going for walks, how natural it felt to hold her hand in mine, reaching out for the other's hand instinctively.  When we held each other close, too, well, it all just fit so well.  When she'd nestle her head into my shoulder or chest, everything else faded away.

Life was wonderful, she was wonderful, I was wonderful.

I was on such a high, and a completely unexpected one -- I hadn't been looking for a relationship, only friendship.  To find something so deep and so fast was both amazing and alarming.

Within the first couple of weeks, though, the funk I was in would rear its head in an unexpected way -- and a way that went undetected for far too long.  With the high and the promise of the new relationship, I was in a completely different headspace.  It seemed as though I'd been dragged out of that funk completely, which was a blessing to say the least -- the sky was so blue in my world and all of that.

What quickly happened, though, in retrospect -- this rush all came as such a relief, to be alive again and on top of the world, that I latched onto it and became rather obsessed with it.  It was my escape from that funk, never to return.  My focus outside of keeping things running at home narrowed down to what this could become, and got caught up in that fantasy, rather than simply enjoying living it in the moment.

This quickly turned things from being a positive influence all around into me behaving like a completely different person.  My wife had initially been so enthralled with the positive effect it had on me, however when this new stage set in, I was barely recognizable to her any longer, and not really someone that she wanted to be around.